Jobbity Job Job Job!

21 09 2010

Items I have learned today

  • Australian’s do not say “How’s it going?”  Instead they prefer “How YOU going?”  Even in a professional context, I heard a receptionist answer the phones with that greeting.  I still can’t hear it with out thinking of Joey from friends (and yes I KNOW that he says “how you doing,” but whatever)
  • Good on ya!  =  Good job
  • Administrative work pretty much has an entirely different language here.  This fact was FABULOUS while I was applying for various jobs.  I left half of the items unmarked (making it seem as though I had NO experience) because I had no idea what the hell they were.  Here are the two I learned today, I’m sure I will be able to translate a few more after I start my first official job here on Friday.

Board Notes – Executive reports aka reports that are used for Board Meetings

Diary Management – Scheduling

First things first: I have a job!!  I will start working at Hastings Fund Management on Friday.  Yes, this is the Executive Assistant’s Assistant role, but when I went in the for interview this morning, it actually sounded like it could be a lot of fun.   I will be helping with the year end financial close of a few of the companies that HFM works with.  I will understand a lot more about what I will be doing when I start. I heard the terms “ASIC report“ and “lodge it through“ a lot today.   Now what exactly they mean, I’m not entirely sure… yet.  I am actually really excited to be working with them.  I will only be there until right before “Cup Day”  (Nov 2nd)- a Melbourne holiday where people take the day off to go to the horse races… literally.  But it’s a job.  The two woman I will be working with seem fantastic. So..yeah.  One piece of the puzzle solved, until November at least.  It is seriously though, SUCH a stress reliever knowing that I will have some income.  It was a GREAT feeling when they officially offered me the position.  I’m really happy to be excited about where I will be working, even if it is only for a temporary basis.

Which brings me back to the “promotional company” that I met with yesterday.   I show up at 8:00am and have to fill out paperwork that allows the company to “observe me for a few hours at an event.”  UH OH… What the hell had I gotten myself into?  Next, I get taken downstairs to meet the managing director, who tells me just how lucky I am that I have even made it to the first step, and that if I impress one of her managers enough than I might make it to one to the final stage.. A second interview.  HOW EXCITING!  (ugh).  So already, I think it’s all a bit of BS (oops, did I just say that?), but before I have much of a choice I am being sent off with her manager to an “event.”  Now her manager himself, Sam, was actually a really nice guy.  I liked him a lot, however, I did not enjoy the fact that I did really have any choice as to whether or not I wanted to go with him.  So Sam and I board a tram, in which I start trying to ask what exactly it is that they do…
“Oh, I will walk you through all of that”  is pretty much the only response I get.
30 minutes later, in an area outside of the city called Coburn, we hop off the tram and go to a side street
“Welcome, to our office!” Sam says, as he pulls out Amnesty International T-shirts.
GREAT, so this was exactly what I thought it was and had been dreading… actually it was a tiny bit worse.  I wouldn’t just be asking people to sign petitions, I would be asking them to donate money… AWESOME.  I am NOT a sales person.. So you can imagine just how much fun I am having trying to engage people walking past me on the street in conversation “Hey YOU… I’m sure you have heard of Amnesty international, well let me just tell you what we are doing here today!!!”  (verbal vomit).  90% of the people that walk past you are either rude, or ignore you.  Something that also puts me in a FANTASTIC mood.

I have done promotions back in Seattle before, but that is FAR easier, because you aren’t SELLING anything, in fact you are usually giving crap away for free (yes, I did just say crap)… candy bars, pictures, samples, what ever.. You just have to smile and hand it out.  NOT THIS JOB.   I should say however, that the cause was good.  We were trying to collect money for Amnesty International to help with Australia’s domestic abuse problems (1 in 3 woman is physically, sexually or mentally abused, a factoid I learned from this fun little job interview).

3 hours go by where I am now getting all sorts of fun little “tasks”  from Sam… like getting 10 people to tell me their most embarrassing stories, or trying to “ice break”  (Hey, I LOVE you scarf  —or— Where did you get those FABULOUS shoes) people.  I’m literally counting down the minutes until I can go home.  Finally Sam pulls me aside and takes me through the pay structure… basically there is NO base. You get a certain lump sum for every person you get to donate (starting at $20).   With my wonderful selling abilities, I pretty much would have been looking at making $0 a day, everyday.  Oh and the hours would have been 9:00am to 5:00pm… daily.  I was cringing from 3 hours of  “ice breaking,” not even getting close to the presentation.  This job was pretty much my own personal version of hell…with out getting any wages.
So finally I tell Sam that I am not sure if I am good fit, but he encourages me to talk to his manager who then offers me a position.  Not knowing what to do, I accept and agree to start at 8:00am the next day. YES I KNOW, RETARDED.  But at this point, I just wanted to get away from Coburn and home.  It was already 1:00pm, I had been on my “one hour observation” half the day!! I wanted to get out of there, and that was the easiest way I could see to do it.

I left shortly after words, and then got a hold of Sam later on that day to decline and thank him again for the opportunity.  The only thing I slightly regret, was the fact that Sam and a few of the other people that he worked with seemed really cool.  I figure though, I will have other opportunities to make friends with out having to live through my worst nightmare.

Anyway, that’s behind me now, and HFM (Hasting Funds Management) is in my future. 🙂



One response

21 09 2010

Congratulations, darling! Not only a job, but you’ll be able to continue immersing yourself in further research and writing of “The Lexicography of Australia.” Good on ya.

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